ARRANGING A FUNERAL
Arranging a child’s funeral
As parents ourselves, we have made a commitment to carry out the funeral arrangements for children up to the age of 16 without making a charge*. Deighan’s Funeral Parlour is here to guide you through the funeral arrangement process and help you every step of the way. There is no right or wrong way to be feeling. Everyone is different. Try to take your time in making decisions and choices and don’t be afraid to think things through and change your mind.
Our commitment includes the following:
- To collect your child and bring them into our care at Deighan’s Funeral Parlour.
- The professional services of a Funeral Director and any other staff required throughout, the use of the Chapel of Rest or alternative arrangements should you wish for your child to be at home with you.
- Your choice of vehicles for the funeral service, which could be a hearse, estate car and/or limousine.
- A traditional oak veneered coffin or, following the death of a baby or very young child, a wooden coffin covered in a material of your choice.
There are lots of ways in which you can participate in the funeral arrangements and you can be involved as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Please don’t be afraid to ask us anything. It may be that you wish to be involved in dressing your child, carrying the coffin, back-filling the grave or designing the orders of service. It is not unusual following the loss of a baby to want to organise a photographer, and to have tiny plaster casts made of his or her hands or feet. We are here to guide and support every step of the way.
We all grieve in different ways and following the death of a child, for many it is a long, slow process that never really ends. Many people feel tearful and sad for many weeks and months after their child’s death. Grieving can feel like being on a roller coaster, up one minute and down the next – it’s hard to know what you will be feeling.
Many parents find they are helped when they give themselves time together to talk about their feelings – some find they need spiritual or grief support from a minister, the help of an experienced bereavement or relationship counsellor or draw comfort from attending bereavement groups. Please visit our contacts for details of bereaved parents who can help.
When there are other children in the family they too may feel sad and confused. Parents find that it helps their children if they can be honest and open from the start. Children sense when there is something wrong and when their parents are upset. Making time to sit quietly with them and telling them the truth in a loving, gentle way seems to help most. Even quite young children are able to ‘understand’ in their own way much more than we might expect. Children can be comforted when they feel included, when we let them into our grief and explain why we are hurting.
Help with costs (Children’s Funeral Fund (CFF)
The Children’s Funeral Fund for England (CFF) is a scheme to provide funding for the fees charged for any burial or cremation of a child aged 16 or under, or stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy. The fund also covers certain associated expenses.
Parents can also claim directly from the scheme if they choose not to use a funeral director.
What the fund covers
The Children’s Funeral Fund for England can help pay for the:
- burial fees
- cremation fees, including the cost of a doctor’s certificate
- coffin, shroud or casket (up to a cost of £300)